oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
