TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
