Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
