she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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