I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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