so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
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how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
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In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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