ya dads aren't the best wingmen
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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