Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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