Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
