can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
