she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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