I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
