Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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