The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
well I can't set my house on fire every night
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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