she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
from now on my penis is your penis
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
