Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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