i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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