I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
