omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
soo... how was my night?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
