that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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