And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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