I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
