grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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