Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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