in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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