i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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