Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
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