Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
