Please, let me fuck your mom
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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