you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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