We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
How does it feel to date your dad?
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