just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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