I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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