remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at about main and main street
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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