he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
