You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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