Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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