he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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