Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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