Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Randomize
