I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
