Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
