I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
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