Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
