I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Randomize
