okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
And then he peed in my hair
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