i only shaved half my leg
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake