im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
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he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
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They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
i black out too much to be "responsible"