But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
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