dude i'm inner monologue high
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died