How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
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