Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(719): View more from Colorado

physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.

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(719): physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go. http://tfl.nu/oxgw

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(600): View more from

I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans

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(600): I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans http://tfl.nu/5cg9

Replies (6) Good night (3814) Bad night (643)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.

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(201): i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby. http://tfl.nu/udcn

Replies (51) Good night (9520) Bad night (1429)
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(731): View more from Tennessee

He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....

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(731): He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars.... http://tfl.nu/aa23

Replies (15) Good night (1367) Bad night (8335)
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(727): View more from Florida

its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics

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(727): its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics http://tfl.nu/k6wq

Replies (22) Good night (4269) Bad night (1085)
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(903): View more from Texas

I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.

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(903): I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish. http://tfl.nu/384h

Replies (13) Good night (2596) Bad night (1269)
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(806): View more from Texas

Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that

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(806): Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that http://tfl.nu/ovs4

Replies (8) Good night (2752) Bad night (942)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?

(1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

FUCK YOU MAN

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(717): Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in? (1-717): FUCK YOU MAN http://tfl.nu/h049

Replies (3) Good night (1753) Bad night (778)
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(720): View more from Colorado

I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again

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(720): I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again http://tfl.nu/uboi

Replies (5) Good night (1333) Bad night (1049)
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(810): View more from Michigan

Shitshow foam night was such a success

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(810): Shitshow foam night was such a success http://tfl.nu/ts7h

Replies (3) Good night (1526) Bad night (964)
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(917): View more from New York City

There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar

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(917): There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar http://tfl.nu/udin

Replies (8) Good night (1481) Bad night (679)
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(719): View more from Colorado

There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.

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(719): There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans. http://tfl.nu/qyi6

Replies (5) Good night (658) Bad night (1214)
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(512): View more from Texas

I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.

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(512): I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like. http://tfl.nu/i3mi

Replies (1) Good night (477) Bad night (503)
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(585): View more from New York

She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.

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(585): She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies. http://tfl.nu/cc7w

Replies (5) Good night (292) Bad night (697)
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(903): View more from Texas

You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.

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(903): You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life. http://tfl.nu/tabn

Replies (4) Good night (375) Bad night (186)

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