I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.