I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
