fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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