then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
