I feel like abortions should bother me more
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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