No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
