Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
