I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
