he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
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Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
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He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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