we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
