tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
