Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
