so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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