So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
