I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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